My Friend

The first thing you would notice about her is her hair. She had long, black, thick hair which would be nicely braided, folded and tied up with ribbons. I don’t remember when we became friends, but I do remember that I noticed her the first day of my class in this new school in Delhi.

I had always dreaded joining a new school. You had to do everything all over again. Take down notes you missed, introduce yourself to everyone, make new friends…But what I dreaded most were the eyes that followed you everywhere in curiosity. Wondering what you were like and whether you would be a competition to them or not. It was the same with this school, too. I was in my 6^th grade.

But to help me adjust, I found some friends, and good ones at that. We were a group of 4 girls. We would sit next to each other in class, lunch together, play together…..but among all I liked her the most. She was, more or less like me. Though we used to compete for the best handwriting among ourselves, I always had a soft corner for her.

We used to enjoy being together and then on the last day of our final exams, when we had finished exchanging addresses and promised to write to each other and keep in touch, she climbed onto her bus and waved. I waved back at her. For the last time. I wish I had known then.

My friends continued studying in the same school, whereas I joined another one in the same city, as we had shifted our house. But we used to write to each other. Slowly, as years passed by, I lost touch with everyone, except her. I left Delhi and kept moving from one place to another. She used to be lazy to write to me, but no matter where I went, we always used to keep in touch. She had given me her phone number to contact her and I had even visited Delhi a couple of times later. But I never called due to my hectic schedules. For which I feel guilty till date.

It was when I was in college, when she wrote to me about this inferiority complex she had because of her dark complexion. She suspected no one was friendly with her because of that. She wrote about how she had lost confidence in herself and how she wished she were like me. I wrote back saying she is best the way she is. I asked her not to change. I gave her all the confidence I could. I couldn’t see her so depressed. Really, she was an angel. She used to always send me hand made cards for New Years and for my birthdays. And I used to think that next time when I visit Delhi, I should meet her.

She was a good student in school and she continued that way in college too. After college she had taken up Charted Accountant foundation classes and I joined my post graduate diploma and we both got busy. I got a job soon after and my marriage was also almost fixed. I wrote to her many times, but there was no reply from her side. And I thought it was her usual laziness that kept her away form writing or maybe she had shifted to some other place. Still in desperate attempt to get in touch with her, I e-mailed one of her friends and asked about her whereabouts. I still remember the exact words of the reply. It said, “Hi. I am very sorry to inform you that your friend is no more. Her parents stay at the same place, they have not shifted.”

I read, re-read the mail again and again. I just could not believe the words in front of my eyes. That night, I couldn’t sleep…suddenly I wanted to see her….just one last time…. It is sad, this situation. Yet it is a fact many of us overlook.

Today when I think of her, I tell her how much she means to me. I thank her for being my friend, for giving me those beautiful and unforgettable memories that I shall treasure all my life. And she just smiles back at me. Maybe she says,” I will always remain your friend!”

Our Temple Trip

Finally we decided to go on a pilgrimage tour. It was due a long time now. And since we had to go to Trivandrum for Varun’s first birthday, we decided to club our temple trips together. My parents agreed to accompany us.

We booked our flight tickets from Mumbai for the 4^th of August 2006. To reach Mumbai we had booked ourselves on KK Travels, a popular choice with the people who head straight to the airports in Mumbai from Pune. The bus picked us up from our individual homes and we set off. The view en route to Mumbai was astounding thanks to the rainy season. Anyways, we reached the airport only to find out that our flight was delayed by 2 hours. Now, waiting in the airport lounge, that too with a one yr old is a situation by itself and I’m sure those of you having a baby know exactly what I mean! Well, my prayers were heard and we boarded the flight and reached Trivandrum (after making a trip to Cochin too, imagine!) by 1:00 am.

Thiruvananthapuram

Trivandrum. Or Thiruvananthapuram(that sounds better!), is one place I always wanted to visit. Especially the Padmanabha Swamy temple. I guess it was the Lord’s doing that I got married to Reghu, who belongs to Thiruvananthapuram. Sometimes I wonder if I was deliberately kept away from coming here. Maybe it was destined that I visit this divine sanctity with my husband! Whatever the reason, I feel blessed!

So, the next morning we went to the temple and performed Varun’s choroonu. By noon, my parents arrived and in the evening we visited the Attukal Bhagavathy temple.

It was exactly 6:00 am in the morning the next day when the quails reached the doorstep and we all left for a 2 day trip to Rameshwaram, Madurai and Kanyakumari. Our first stop was for breakfast at Gowri Shankar restaurant on the highway. We instantly took a liking to the place when we saw the three different types of chutneys served there. My husband Reghu still raves about those chutneys!

The next stop was at Thirunelveli where Reghu’s cousin, Sunder anna, stays. We spent an hour there and returned to our journey after getting our lunch packed by Chitra bhabhi.

It takes 10 hours to reach Rameshwaram from Thiruvananthapuram by road. The heat was on and we could notice the vast difference in the landscape as we moved deeper into Tamil Nadu. After a short stopover at Madurai for lunch (needless to say lunch was delicious, as is the case with home made food!), we reached Rameshwaram at 5:30 pm.

Rameshwaram

To reach Rameshwaram, you have to cross the Pamban Bridge which connects it to the mainland. The view from the bridge is breathtaking…one has to see it to believe it!

I have always had a fascination for Rameshwaram. Firstly because of it’s value in Hindu mythology and secondly, due to its geographical location. Now, for those of you wondering what’s so great about the location of this place, let me tell you that it is situated at the tip of the Indian sub continent, and just a few kilometers away is the island of Sri Lanka. Surrounded by two big oceans at the tip of the mainland, now, isn’t that exciting?!?

We checked into a TTDC hotel and from our rooms we got a wonderful view of the sea. That evening we took a dip in the holy waters, and surprisingly, my son, Varun enjoyed it too!! The next day, we made our visit to the temple and also to Dhanushkodi. On the way to Dhanushkodi we halted at our President, Mr. Abdul Kalam’s residence. Yes, you read right! Our President is from Rameshwaram and anyone is free to visit his house. His house is just like any other in the neighborhood and that itself explains the simplicity behind him.

The road leading to Dhanushkodi has a few trees on either side and it bore a deserted look. The guide informed us that during the high tide the water from the seas flow till the road. There is also an abandoned railway line which was used long back, but was discontinued after a severe cyclone not only destroyed the train and passengers within but also the Dhaushkodi village. A few kilometers of driving and you reach the last check post of India located at the shores of the Indian Ocean. You still have to go further down to reach the tip of India, but there was no road. I would have gone if it wasn’t for Varun, who was fast asleep on my shoulders. Someday, I told myself, I will return and see where the land ends and the two mighty waters, the Bay of Bengal and the Indian Ocean meet.

Back at the hotel after having lunch, we packed and set off to Madurai, 3 hours from Rameshwaram. We reached in the evening and could not resist a visit to the Madurai Meenakshi temple. This was my first visit to the temple.

Madurai

Well, what can I say? You can just stand and stare at the enormous gopurams (entrances) of the temple in awe! So fantastic is the art work on them. And even more pleasing was the Goddess herself!

The first thing you would notice about the Goddess is her shimmering nose ring and her beautiful madisaaru (a nine yard sari). There she stood, majestically with a parrot on her right hand ……. I thought I was dreaming! She looked so heavenly!

I would have loved to stay but there were closing the temple and we returned to our hotel to realize how hungry we were!! Yes readers, food will always be discussed in my blogs, both me and my husband being ardent food lovers! (we hope to raise our son, too, the same way!) Our hotel had a rooftop restaurant and we could have a beautiful view of all the four gopurams from there. But we had to hurry our dinner as my dear son, could not bear our discussion anymore, and insisted on being attended upon!

Kanyakumari

The next day, too, we visited the temple and set off again, this time to Kanyakumari. Kanyakumari is not new to me, but I just love the waters and the sight of Vivekananda Rock that I never get bored no matter how many times I go. We visited the temple there, I bought some shells (the ones I don’t have already), went to the waters and were on our way back to Thiruvananthapuram after taking a break at Suchindram too. Finally we reached home at 9:00 pm and settled for the talks and discussions.

On 10^th August, 2006 we celebrated Varun’s first birthday grandly with all near and dear ones. Then we left for the other half of the journey. We took a train to Guruvayoor, performed choroonu, thulabharam, etc. there and left for Palakkad by car the same day. Peruvumbu, in Palakkad, has a bhagavathy temple which was my kuladevam before marriage. All necessary poojas were performed there also. And from there we went to Tirupathi by train. Other than the usual Tirumala darshanam, this time we also visited the Kalyana sundara temple in Tirupathy and also Kalahasti. The next day was our train to Pune, my parents were to leave for Bangalore directly from there. And there ends the 12 day long trip.

We also had Chidambaram in our minds, but since the distance was too much, we decided to carry forward it to the next temple trip. Yes, there will be another one too! Will keep you updated with the plans!

Believe in yourself

I remember the time when I used to buy a horoscope book without telling anyone about it. I used to read it only when no one was looking. I wanted to know what was in store for me. I used to hush it from others because I was afraid. Afraid of what people might think of me, afraid that they might laugh at me.

There is nothing wrong in knowing about your future. No. And believe me people, I used to sincerely buy these kind of books every year, just to know whether I would pass my exams, or score good marks! Oh yes, I did! I didn’t have faith in myself but I used to believe the book! I used to never prepare in advance for my exams but definitely by heart what the horoscope book said. There were great things written for me, and I, blindly believed each and every word of it. Who wouldn’t want to? But what I didn’t realize was that I’m damaging my self confidence to such an extent that it was irreparable.

Exams came and went, and so did the results. Whenever I had my marks sheet in my hand, I used to wonder …..and keep telling myself that next year would be better. I finished my BCom ( and by God’s grace I passed!) and had to attend many interviews for my further studies. That’s when I realized that I had nothing called self confidence left in me. I was afraid of everything. Afraid of meeting new people, speaking publicly, even write an essay on my own! All this while I was depending on some book, some comment from someone, and not my inner voice, my own self.

Thank god I realized that because after that my life changed. For the better, of course. I told myself that if I wanted to do something in my life, get somewhere, I had to overcome my weaknesses. But how? I was too timid! Then I decided, I had to do something, I couldn’t just simply sit there and worry about my future. I had to undo the damage I had done to myself. If nothing, at least I wanted to be able to face myself with pride.

I started to venture out, take risks , involve myself in activities that I was afraid of. That’s when I knew it is YOU who change your life. YOU write your destiny and not anybody else. You want it, go get it. You can, you will!

In the beginning, all I saw was failures. Whatever I tried used to flop. But I never gave up. I tried, and kept trying. Remember the old saying we learnt in school? “Try, try, try again till you succeed!”. I didn’t realize it then, but it is a very correct and practical advice. I still had hope in myself. And that is what kept me going. Slowly, I began to taste success. First, emotionally, I had gained confidence in me. Then in studies, I started scoring good marks. I went on and on….I had become the best student and the topper of the class! Yes, I had done it! And I was proud of myself. Not because I scored well, but because I reached all the way up all by myself. That felt great!

This is not a story of a successful or a highly sought after businessman or somebody. It is about me. Me, who is a successful person. I feel that way and though I’m a happily settled home maker with a son to take care of now, I know that I can achieve things on my own. I’m a confident person now.

All those out there who feel dejected, low or think you a loser, think again. The bottom line is: DO NOT lose hope. Do what you are afraid of doing, and it will transform you into a better, more confident person. Never let life take you for a ride. YOU have to take control of your life and not let life control you. Just try, my friend, and see how your world changes right in front of your eyes. Life is beautiful, but you can enjoy it only when you make yourself beautiful!