I remember the time when I used to buy a horoscope book without telling anyone about it. I used to read it only when no one was looking. I wanted to know what was in store for me. I used to hush it from others because I was afraid. Afraid of what people might think of me, afraid that they might laugh at me.
There is nothing wrong in knowing about your future. No. And believe me people, I used to sincerely buy these kind of books every year, just to know whether I would pass my exams, or score good marks! Oh yes, I did! I didn’t have faith in myself but I used to believe the book! I used to never prepare in advance for my exams but definitely by heart what the horoscope book said. There were great things written for me, and I, blindly believed each and every word of it. Who wouldn’t want to? But what I didn’t realize was that I’m damaging my self confidence to such an extent that it was irreparable.
Exams came and went, and so did the results. Whenever I had my marks sheet in my hand, I used to wonder …..and keep telling myself that next year would be better. I finished my BCom ( and by God’s grace I passed!) and had to attend many interviews for my further studies. That’s when I realized that I had nothing called self confidence left in me. I was afraid of everything. Afraid of meeting new people, speaking publicly, even write an essay on my own! All this while I was depending on some book, some comment from someone, and not my inner voice, my own self.
Thank god I realized that because after that my life changed. For the better, of course. I told myself that if I wanted to do something in my life, get somewhere, I had to overcome my weaknesses. But how? I was too timid! Then I decided, I had to do something, I couldn’t just simply sit there and worry about my future. I had to undo the damage I had done to myself. If nothing, at least I wanted to be able to face myself with pride.
I started to venture out, take risks , involve myself in activities that I was afraid of. That’s when I knew it is YOU who change your life. YOU write your destiny and not anybody else. You want it, go get it. You can, you will!
In the beginning, all I saw was failures. Whatever I tried used to flop. But I never gave up. I tried, and kept trying. Remember the old saying we learnt in school? “Try, try, try again till you succeed!”. I didn’t realize it then, but it is a very correct and practical advice. I still had hope in myself. And that is what kept me going. Slowly, I began to taste success. First, emotionally, I had gained confidence in me. Then in studies, I started scoring good marks. I went on and on….I had become the best student and the topper of the class! Yes, I had done it! And I was proud of myself. Not because I scored well, but because I reached all the way up all by myself. That felt great!
This is not a story of a successful or a highly sought after businessman or somebody. It is about me. Me, who is a successful person. I feel that way and though I’m a happily settled home maker with a son to take care of now, I know that I can achieve things on my own. I’m a confident person now.
All those out there who feel dejected, low or think you a loser, think again. The bottom line is: DO NOT lose hope. Do what you are afraid of doing, and it will transform you into a better, more confident person. Never let life take you for a ride. YOU have to take control of your life and not let life control you. Just try, my friend, and see how your world changes right in front of your eyes. Life is beautiful, but you can enjoy it only when you make yourself beautiful!