Thursday, March 20, 2008


When I bid farewell, I didn’t know what I was going to miss. I didn’t know that I was making a terrible mistake. A mistake that I would regret for the rest of my life. I just had to get him out of my mind, my heart, my life…that was all I could think of. I was putting an end to a beautiful phase of my life. And I did just that…brutally.
One of my friends calls me “stone-hearted”. He says I don’t and cannot have any feelings for anybody. Yeah, he’s right. After all I did do something that was unforgivable, unforgettable.
No, I am not going to give reasons as to why I didn’t accept love. It was something that I had chosen for myself. The only thing, perhaps. I had it all…abundant love that was enough for a lifetime. I can’t say I declined it. But what I did was chuck it in a box, lock it up, and ditched the key in some corner of my heart, marking it in bold as “PAST”.
I ensured myself that I did the right thing and that since it was the past it would never return and shouldn’t bother me. But somewhere in that box I had also locked up a part of myself, my true self. And it was only after a while that I realized that I belonged to my past. That no matter how much I try to shun it all away; it will always come back to me and remain a part of me.
I had broken someone’s heart, a crime that is worse than murder perhaps. Of course, I suffered too, but that doesn’t count. It doesn’t matter. Anymore.
Now that I repent and remorse, nothing’s going to change. But the next time I take leave of my friends, I’ll be careful not to make the same mistake. Not to say “farewell”, not to say...”The end” to a relationship.
Love is the best thing that can happen to you, but only if you let it.

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